goodbye and goodnight.
this album is the first album I've poured myself into more than ever.
my soul is recovering and healing and I am immersing myself into art. I have never felt so wanted and loved by people in my entire life. My entire being is surrounded by so many good vibes and people I cannot control myself. I have never felt so alive. For the longest time I had struggled with accepting things that have happened the past few years: exes, old friends, politics, etc. though I have not accepted all of these- I will work to change the things I can't accept, and show love to those I have hurt. This album is an apology, a thank you, an art piece, a hobby, a "getting better" celebration, a new friend, a new beginning, a new place for myself. It's taken me a year but I am finally over my ex girlfriend, which is a oh so personal thing to put in an album description. But for the past year, I have seen her everywhere. in my dreams, the places we used to go, in people, everything and everywhere. I have met an amazing person, who in the course of two weeks has taught me so much about the world in myself, and has shown me all the platonic love I have felt in the earth, I hold so much love for this person, and what they have done for me. I wrote them a poem, but left it out. I feel infinitely towards them. This is letting go. and letting go is so hard to do, and I never wanted to do it ever. was never ready for it, or anything. I don't know what the future holds. and I don't know if I will stop feeling this in a week, or begin missing her again, or meet somebody else, etc. I don't know. It all has happened so fast and that gives me hope. I have spoken at rallies for planned parenthood, got into my dream college (and transferring to it in a few Years!!!), have gotten involved in activism, etc. I feel so loved and important, and I am never going to let anybody make me feel otherwise. But with this- it's time to say goodbye for a while. its really weird, but all my poems are really clichey and messy right now. I don't know what's up with me, I just can't write right now, I struggled months upon months to finish this. I am tired of putting my work out so quickly for validation or just to say " I did it." I will continue writing but I am halting this for a while it might be months years whatever who knows. I want to allow myself to feel and write without feeling pressured. I love all who has supported me, and email me!!! if u want!!! to see what I'm up to or writing!!!! the contact button forever will be an option. I love you all so much, and if anybody ever needs to talk I am here for you and I love you. so for now- goodnight and goodbye.
♡now here are the cheesy thank you's ♡
Cheyenne: thanks for taking me up to Nashville,IN that one weekend and going camping. it was cold and everything was closed but I still had fun. thank you for letting me talk to you about my problems, new friends, feelings, tattoos, art, food, etc. I am really lucky to know you.
Corrine: Thank you for letting me take photos and videos of you! you have been a really good friend after all the mess that has happened. even though we didn't talk for awhile you were still there for me. you know what a true friend is, and thank you for making my feelings feel super valid. I am really lucky to know you.
Kevin: Thank you for trying. You barely knew me and still tried to help me. you have such a great soul, you are talented and just a great friend. I cannot wait for more adventures! I am really lucky to know you.
Jake: You live 1818 miles away, but I still really like talking to you, and feel like I can tell you a lot. I am so grateful for the things we talk about, I feel so less alone and you are an interesting dude. you've been more there for me than some people I know in real life and that's crazy to me. you're amazing. I am really lucky to know you.
Megan: you put up with my bullshit when I'm manic and cranky or sad. you give me space when I need it you are mostly understanding and we always usually have fun together. you've been one of my closest friends for 4 years and its really crazy. we like the same memes too so I mean I am really lucky to know you.
Jaiden: ur my sister but also my favorite person in the world, no words can describe how much I appreciate u but I am really lucky to know you.
W: you really are the reason I started this project. you got me so much more comfortable with showing my art to people. although there are times I have felt so much anger and hurt toward you, its almost all gone now. all I'm left with is memories. I'm not saying anymore about you in this but if you ever want to talk I'm still here, I don't want to be friends, I just want you to know I'm sorry and I was really really lucky to have known you.
released March 20, 2017
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