♡ a goodbye ♡

by ♡ romantic poetry ♡

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

1.
2.
01:35
3.
02:35
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
01:33
10.
01:36
11.
12.
13.
02:29
14.
01:27
15.
03:42

about

goodbye and goodnight.

this album is the first album I've poured myself into more than ever.
my soul is recovering and healing and I am immersing myself into art. I have never felt so wanted and loved by people in my entire life. My entire being is surrounded by so many good vibes and people I cannot control myself. I have never felt so alive. For the longest time I had struggled with accepting things that have happened the past few years: exes, old friends, politics, etc. though I have not accepted all of these- I will work to change the things I can't accept, and show love to those I have hurt. This album is an apology, a thank you, an art piece, a hobby, a "getting better" celebration, a new friend, a new beginning, a new place for myself. It's taken me a year but I am finally over my ex girlfriend, which is a oh so personal thing to put in an album description. But for the past year, I have seen her everywhere. in my dreams, the places we used to go, in people, everything and everywhere. I have met an amazing person, who in the course of two weeks has taught me so much about the world in myself, and has shown me all the platonic love I have felt in the earth, I hold so much love for this person, and what they have done for me. I wrote them a poem, but left it out. I feel infinitely towards them. This is letting go. and letting go is so hard to do, and I never wanted to do it ever. was never ready for it, or anything. I don't know what the future holds. and I don't know if I will stop feeling this in a week, or begin missing her again, or meet somebody else, etc. I don't know. It all has happened so fast and that gives me hope. I have spoken at rallies for planned parenthood, got into my dream college (and transferring to it in a few Years!!!), have gotten involved in activism, etc. I feel so loved and important, and I am never going to let anybody make me feel otherwise. But with this- it's time to say goodbye for a while. its really weird, but all my poems are really clichey and messy right now. I don't know what's up with me, I just can't write right now, I struggled months upon months to finish this. I am tired of putting my work out so quickly for validation or just to say " I did it." I will continue writing but I am halting this for a while it might be months years whatever who knows. I want to allow myself to feel and write without feeling pressured. I love all who has supported me, and email me!!! if u want!!! to see what I'm up to or writing!!!! the contact button forever will be an option. I love you all so much, and if anybody ever needs to talk I am here for you and I love you. so for now- goodnight and goodbye.



♡now here are the cheesy thank you's ♡
Cheyenne: thanks for taking me up to Nashville,IN that one weekend and going camping. it was cold and everything was closed but I still had fun. thank you for letting me talk to you about my problems, new friends, feelings, tattoos, art, food, etc. I am really lucky to know you.
Corrine: Thank you for letting me take photos and videos of you! you have been a really good friend after all the mess that has happened. even though we didn't talk for awhile you were still there for me. you know what a true friend is, and thank you for making my feelings feel super valid. I am really lucky to know you.
Kevin: Thank you for trying. You barely knew me and still tried to help me. you have such a great soul, you are talented and just a great friend. I cannot wait for more adventures! I am really lucky to know you.
Jake: You live 1818 miles away, but I still really like talking to you, and feel like I can tell you a lot. I am so grateful for the things we talk about, I feel so less alone and you are an interesting dude. you've been more there for me than some people I know in real life and that's crazy to me. you're amazing. I am really lucky to know you.
Megan: you put up with my bullshit when I'm manic and cranky or sad. you give me space when I need it you are mostly understanding and we always usually have fun together. you've been one of my closest friends for 4 years and its really crazy. we like the same memes too so I mean I am really lucky to know you.
Jaiden: ur my sister but also my favorite person in the world, no words can describe how much I appreciate u but I am really lucky to know you.
W: you really are the reason I started this project. you got me so much more comfortable with showing my art to people. although there are times I have felt so much anger and hurt toward you, its almost all gone now. all I'm left with is memories. I'm not saying anymore about you in this but if you ever want to talk I'm still here, I don't want to be friends, I just want you to know I'm sorry and I was really really lucky to have known you.

credits

released March 20, 2017

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

♡ romantic poetry ♡ Indianapolis, Indiana

spoken word poetry and crying










( all album sales go towards my college, I got accepted into my dream college, which i will be transferring to in a couple of year <3 )







listen to music i like: 8tracks.com/reily-s/mixes/1
... more

contact / help

Contact ♡ romantic poetry ♡

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: good morning.
instrumental
Track Name: the girl through the window
I can't fall asleep
all I think about is you
I saw you through a window today
as the snow bit my cheeks
the winter air tugging at my lips
but ending with me forcing them shut
and going the other way.
there are trains passing by and the sound echoes
sometimes I hear your voice traveling along with it
as the lights flicker
and the road clanks.
I close my eyes long enough
for it to pass by,
putting my hands over my ears
but I can still hear you.
apologizes clatter at the back of my throat
bouncing around
You are everywhere around me
Metaphorically and literally
i am afraid to open my eyes.
a dark room waits for me near the end
memories plastered near every part of my body
ever so still-
I am afraid to close my eyes.
as you enter my head
gracefully like a dream
and floating ever so quickly
just like how you left
rain staining my pillowcase
And the train roaring outside of my window
Yellow light pouring through the window hitting my toes.
i open my eyes,
unaware if I am awake anymore
my cardigan smells like the coffee I drank yesterday
there will never anything more for me to say.
so I lay in my bed,
feeling sunlight on my toes,
my eyes sting
I look outside my window and I don't see you
and there is no train passing by-
Track Name: uke apologies
im a coward and hope one day I can actually apologize correctly, I'm sorry

Desperation is me leaving you notes in the cemetery we kissed in.
when we broke up i looked up the five stages of grief
and wondered how I was ever going to make it out of this without you.
i took my anti depressants and hoped for the best.
but increased serotonin didn't bring you back.
and I will write apology letters five times,
Pink envelopes and scribbled out I miss yous.
writing more so I feel like I'm talking to you
no one is listening
but i heard the wind go through the trees.
i can hear god
my body moving with the rhythms until a sudden crash comes over me
my cheeks are hot and my eyes are pouring out little baby tears.
burning into my chest
and a voice whispers
you can be god with your eyes.
my bones misplace each other
and rattle.
the people I hurt gather around my bed
they hurt me, too.
all I do is hurt people back.
I didn't realize it until you were standing at the edge of my bed.
and there are
flowers growing on my eyelashes
Watered with your tears.
I wish they would've grown a different way.
i do not speak - i write sloppy metaphors
they are not beautiful or unique
they are the same things other teenagers have written before me.
it's Monday and I'm sorry
It's Tuesday and I'm sorry
It's Wednesday- and you get ig
Track Name: romantic poetry.
instrumental 2
video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzdVC8Cgffg&feature=youtu.be
Track Name: an open body
https://youtu.be/nRXGlw2xYFI
Track Name: EVERYTHING WAS UGLY.
EVERYTHING WAS UGLY AND NOTHING FELT RIGHT
AND THE BRUISES ON YOUR NECK SAID MORE THAN YOUR LIPS EVER COULD
GOD DAMMIT YOUVE GOTTA BE KIND
AND STAY SOFT WHERE THE WORLD IS SO HARD, BABIES.
THAT'S ALL WE WERE JUST LITTLE BABIES
AND I STILL HAVENT FIGURED OUT WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE OR IF I FELT IT
BUT GOD DAMMIT
I WISH I WAS KINDER
I WISH I WAS SOFTER
BUT I MADE EVERYTHING UGLY
AND EVERYTHING HURT
I DIDNT SEE YOUR EYES WHEN I TOLD YOU I STILL LOVED YOU
BUT OH MY GOD
I HAVE HURT YOU
I HAVE HURT YOU
AND I LOVED YOU
SO IT GOES.
SO IT GOES.
A PART OF ME DIED WHEN YOU LEFT BUT
SO IT GOES.
I SHOULDVE BEEN CAREFUL OF WHAT I PRETENDED TO BE
BECAUSE I WAS NEVER STRONG
AND THEY TOLD ME NEVER TO LOOK BACK
BUT I WAS HUMAN SO I DID
GOD DAMMIT I WISH I WAS KINDER
AND SOFTER
BUT WHEN THE WORLD ENDS AND I END
THE SADEST THINGS I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU IS
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN-
SOFTER
KINDER
LOUDER
BUT I COULDNT BE KIND
I PRETENDED TO BE SOMETHING
SOMETHING I WASNT AND THATS THE TRUEST CRIME BUT
SO IT GOES.
BECAUSE NEXT TIME I WILL BE KIND,
I AM STILL JUST A BABY
BUT I WILL NO LONGER PRETEND.
I WANT EVERYTHING TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING TO HURT
I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYBODY ANYMORE
BECAUSE VONNEGUT SAID
"THERE IS ENOUGH LOVE IN THIS WORLD FOR EVERYBODY IF PEOPLE WILL JUST LOOK,"
AND I WANT TO BE THAT KINDNESS
I WANT TO BE THAT SOFTNESS
I WANT TO BE THAT LOVE.
PLEASE.
FIND ME.
GOD DAMMIT.
i want everything to be beautiful
and nothing to hurt
because f that isn't nice
then,
i don't know what is.
Track Name: goodbye and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loRzRrhYmOY&feature=youtu.be
Track Name: good night.
instrumental. watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7sMczDko5E&feature=youtu.be