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my summer part one (may​-​june)

from who we love by ♡ romantic poetry ♡

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lyrics

Half of my summer was spent
in my bed
watching videos
of people
pretending to have a conversation with me
or stretched in a field
with the same book
as my friends and i watched the skateboarders
and commented on the ones we thought were attractive
as we popped our hips out
and put our fingers in our mouths.
half my summer was spent trying to be quiet.
wanting to shut myself out.
i played music with the sound of waves to fall asleep
and closed my eyes and imagined i was by the ocean
and it could not drown me.
but sleep brought vivid dreams i didn’t want to have
In those dreams for some reason
I told you "yes"
but my heart knows I firmly said
"No"
did I make myself fall in love
so I could suffer
or so i could write better poetry
i don't know
I don't know
I look out the car window
And you're not there
you're close enough for me to feel you crawling inside my skin
but far enough where your eyes don't meet mine
and we don't talk anymore
and that isn't by choice
it's because i know if we still did
there's no way I'd survive
I'm barely clinging
as it is
and seeing your face through my computer screen nearly pushed me off the edge
one text
one button
no more you
half of me wants to print it in my book
half of me wants to rip my heart off my sleeve
But my heart always wins
I can't feel my legs.
they will stretch across the crumbled streets
waiting
but I don't think it's for you anymore.
maybe it's for the next car
maybe it's for the other person waiting ,too.
far.
who knows,
I sure don't.
that's the thrill of it all
Not knowing.

credits

from who we love, released August 29, 2016

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♡ romantic poetry ♡ hell, Michigan

2015 - 2018.

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